....appalled

for someone who prides himself in looking after himself, eating well, exercising, moisturising, etc etc etc... i am absolutely appalled with the condition i am in at the moment....
it's not even the weight i've put on that's upsetting me (although i'm not happy about it)
after my over indulgence on friday night my eyes are yellow, indigestion reigns supreme and, having just finished an 18 mile bike ride, i feel absolutely dreadful.
i'm tired all the time, yet i'm not sleeping well. often the problem is the stress of work but to be honest i can't blame that at the moment 'cos things aren't too bad. no, this is all down to me. mind, in part at least, i am in this position because i've done something to my knee which means i haven't been able to run (or exercise at all really) for a couple of months. but i can't go on like this. if i can't run them i have to find some other way to exercise; hence the bike ride today. but it's more than this... it's too much coffee, too much alcohol, too much food......... not enough water, not enough fruit and veg.............................

i stopped eating meat for a while and felt good for the most part although after my body got used to this change i started feeling much the same. i started eating meat again about a week and a bit ago and felt fine and initially my knees improved (both were bad but now it's just my right one) but now feel shite.

so what is it? is it the meat? is it the alcohol? is it the lack of exercise, is it the combination of all of these factors? i don't know. but i have to do better. you see, as you get older it just gets harder to get over the body abuse... the nights out, the take aways, the late nights.... and you only get the one body.... so i must get back to looking after myself.....

......i must.....