.....coast 2 coast 2013

...so this global warming then? how come, in may, i've just spent 3 days on a bike in the pouring rain where, at times, it was colder than the middle of winter. surely with global warming the clues in the title! [ok people i know there's a clever answer to that about climate change etc etc and the return of an ice age etc etc so don't worry that first bit was simply for comic effect ;-)]

day 1 ***********
friday morning we, and by we i mean myself, anthony, the two peter's, and big tall paul, gathered at tony's for bacon sandwiches before loading the bikes up onto the taxi that would transport us to whitehaven to begin our coast to coast journey. it was a relatively eventless journey save for the emergency stop that the taxi driver had to do about 10 miles away from our destination. fortunately none of us could see what had happened so we have no idea whether it was driver error or real emergency. slightly wary now we patiently waited to arrive at whitehaven... and presently we did.

now for the uninitiated among you, the tradition is to dip your wheel in the sea at both ends. it's not clear whether you dip the front or back one so for good measure i dipped both [my personal view would be to dip the back one at whitehaven and the front one at sunderland given the direction of travel]. fair warning here though for would-be c2c'ers the slipway is, well slippy, so just be careful as you venture down there. so we set off with 11 dry feet and 1 wet foot for tony! i ask you! i'm sure he slipped in last time as well!

the first day (we were doing it over 3 days this time) lulls the unsuspecting into a false sense of security with an almost flat 23 miles (i mean there are hills you understand but not 'real c2c' hills), at which point you hit winnlatter pass and the first real tester of the route. it's a good climb that sneaks a final little assent on you after giving you a downhill stretch at the end of the main part of the hill. if you struggle up here - go home now...... ;-) we emerged into keswick and stopped off at the cafe in booths (highly recommended!) where i personally devoured a ham and cheese sandwich, a bag of crisps, and a flapjack. i should probably point out here that for tony and i the c2c is more a tour of available coffee and cake stops just as much as a hardcore bike ride.

have i mentioned yet that so far it has p***ed down from the moment we set off? no? well take it as read that if i don't mention the weather then it is p****ng down. i'll tell you when it's doing anything else!

so then off we go to cover that last 20 miles or so to get us to penrith and our first overnight stop. now we would normally stop at the greystoke coffee shop to sample their delights but, given our resemblance to drowned rats we passed on by. Devastated! This is a lovely quirky cafe with delicious cakes and coffee and a lovely little garden to sit in.... on a sunny day!

you won't find a better guest house in penrith than the brooklands where you will get the warmest welcome ever from leon and debbie. we've stayed with them on every one of our c2c trips and it's simply a delight. the rooms are incredible, luxurious, and just what you need after a day in the saddle. we wouldn't go past here. even when did the route over two days we had to stop at brooklands - leaving ourselves a massive second day ride... but... it had to be done.

day 2 ********
after the debacle of trying to find somewhere to eat in penrith the previous night (nowhere wanted to feed 6 hungry cyclists after a hard days riding because it was after 8 o'clock until we found the agricultural hotel, where the furnishings were a little 'tired' but the food excellent) the brooklands breakfast was as delightful as ever! controversially tony and i went for the fishcakes and poached eggs rather than the full english! the other fellas were perplexed. the full english, conjured up by debbie is a delight, but we thought we'd have a change. and we weren't disappointed! We has the choice of salmon or smoked haddock fishcakes so we decided, on leon's advice, to go for one of each. if i had to pick - i think i preferred the smoked haddock one, but, it was a close call.... and the eggs? done to perfection.

and into the saddle we set off on day 2... and within half a mile you hit your first hill as you climb up fell lane. it's a little tester so soon after breakfast and, dare i say, still slightly hung over from supping ale the night before! now, let's clear one thing up here. hartside is not the hardest part of the coast to coast. it might well be the longest climb (i'd need to check) but it's not the toughest. it's not even the highest point on the route (that honour going to black hill on the road into allenheads). what wears you out in the early part of this second day is the relentless nature of all of the smaller hills. you then hit hartside and ...remember ...it's not the worst bit ...but scale it you must. the bottom bit is the worst being the steepest part but once your half way up it flattens out a little and you just need to sit it out and keep those legs turning. for us, as we climbed, in may (i.e. late spring, summerish) it rained the coldest rain i've ever felt! i was wet by this point beyond comprehension! so when we got into the hartside cafe, another stop off must on the route i virtually changed all of my clothes while tucking into meat pie with a cup of tea, followed by an apricot flapjack. at the risk of being smacked next time i'm in there, watch out for the a**ehole motorcyclists who use both sides of hartside as a race track who are only outdone by the a**ehole clapped out (i think the term is vintage [not]) ford escort drivers who were racing up the hill on this day. rearrange these letter N B O S K to form a descriptive word.

as we left hartside cafe behind and descended for what seems like forever we couldn't have been any colder! i've been out on the bike in the middle of winter, naked (!!) and being warmer. this was turning into a rather taxing section. but you've got to love it! embrace it! now!!! ...this is where it gets hard! hartside and the wearing approach is already in your legs and you have the living hell that is garigill, followed by the pit that is beelzebub's layer, nenthead. don't get me wrong the places are lovely... it's the hills around them that are diabolical ...and don't forget you already have hartside in your legs (had i mentioned that). now when you're next on the route look around carefully in the decent from hartside because somewhere around there i lost my mojo! if you find it, pick it up, and get it back to me.

as we were descending the steepest hill in the world at garigill this muppet went flying past us at, like, a hundred miles an hour. it wasn't till we heard him shouting that we realised it wasn't a muppet at all but one of the peters! we realised he wasn't being a speed freak when he started screaming out that it had just come to his attention that his brakes weren't in the finest order they could have been. he was attempting to stop himself by dragging his feet along the ground on one of the scariest downhill sections on the coast to coast. fortunately the road levelled out enough for his brakes to grip enough to slow him down to a manageable speed. good job this wasn't the next hill down into nenthead where it doesn't level out but goes sharp right into the village with the solid stone wall of a house in front of you!! he walked down this one into the village where his brakes were fully replaced at north penine cycles. big thanks to dave in the repair shop who saved the day! we coffeed in the local pub where the locals were less than inviting but to fair there were a fair clutch of soggy cyclists all sheltering from the rain taking a break! serious note - get your bike serviced by a professional before you head off on the c2c or you may well end up dead!!

and then you're off on a long tough climb out of nenthead (with hartside and all subsequent hills in your legs!!) before descending into allenheads. now, we used to stop in allenheads at the inn but the quality of the accommodation was very poor (it may have improved - you never know) so we were not stopping until parkhead station today. but, not before a dodge into the hemmel cafe for a bowl of soup and a gorgeous crusty bun with a cup of tea. the welcome was warm as was the sun for about an hour either side of this top off. don't pass by here, stop off, you will be delighted.

and then the climb out of allenheads. not a long one but tough (hartside blah blah blah) and then a lovely long descent passed a disused mine before making an important decision. off road up rookhope, or on road and tackle crawleyside bank. we were mostly on hybrids or road bikes, rather than mountain bikes. if you're going to get all the way up rookhope you're probably going to need a little suspension or, do what we did, and walk some of the bits - hey there's no shame in it. i've got all the way up without so much as a foot down when i had my full suspension bike - back in the day! the other option is to tackle crawleyside - go and have a go with fresh legs before deciding whether to do it at the end of a long days ride. either way brings you to parkhead station. we've stopped off here every time as well for cake and coffee. the carrot cake and the chocolate cake (oh! and the soup) are to die for. but today we were actually staying overnight! we had a lovely little room for three of us we me ending up on the top bunk! me! on the top bunk! our evening meal was lovely. i had the chicken and tony highly commended the lamb on the bone. lorraine looked after us all night serving up the bulmers!

then just as we were settling down and nodding off to sleep tony got cramp! now you shouldn't laugh! he was up out of bad shouting and screaming jumping around like a man possessed! in time we settled again and after few trips to the loo each we slept.

day 3 ***********
after a lovely breakfast we said farewell to parkhead and prepared, in the sun no less (!), for our descent to the coast. and a descent it is. i reckon if you pushed off hard enough at the top you could just about rally to sunderland! be nice if you could! but still there is nothing to test you from the top of the waskerley way to the finish at roker. the route on this section is much improved since we last did it. lots of barriers have been taken out (although there are still several) but the route has benefitted from some serious maintenance and the surface is pretty good all the way to the sea. my only criticism would be that, compared to whitehaven with its big c2c sign, the end is a bit under-whleming. there is a, frankly, disappointing sign and sculpture but we had to stop a couple of times to find it. we dipped our wheels without event and headed off to the snowgoose on the marina for sustenance. we had lovely paninis, coffee, and cake..... and then! bugger! ...we had to cycle home!

our journey complete - 3 days of (about) 50 miles a day - mostly in the pouring rain - it even started again on the last day when were about an hour away from sunderland - significant amounts of cake and coffee - a great time had by all! thanks for the ride to the peters, big tall paul, anthony, and most of all to tony who organised it all and kept us all going mile after mile after mile! ....and what next year for 'the crew'!